Salutations, world!
What a wacky idea, that I can publish any old thought circling through my brainular for a gajillion people to see. Even if no one reads this, I won't be too bummed about it because it'll at least be a place where I can store all my brain kernels. And by that I mean thoughts. I am Lauren, and sometimes my brain moves rather quickly. It’s hard to keep up with because my thoughts are always colliding and exploding and drifting and rising and disappearing too fast for me to really articulate their meanings. And so, I like to write once in a while.
I suppose I should tell you a bit about myself.
Well, I am a 20-year-old junior at Franklin Pierce University, and I am studying English literature.
My favorite color is yellow,
I enjoy the taste of Play-do, but do not enjoy the taste of decorative crepe streamers. Do not lick streamers, no matter how strong the impulse. I do it literally every time I decorate anything with streamers, and they always taste like absolute fanny. They taste sour and foul, like how it might taste to lick the scumcheese from between a sweating fat man's belly rolls.
I am obsessed with words, and feel most at home with my nose in a book. Or with a book in my nose. I am particularly fond of coming-of-age novels.
I am blessed with a fantastic, supportive, hilarious family. I also have a boyfriend named Ben, and he is my best friend in the world. He’s the coolest, most inspiring person I have ever met, and I am going to spend the rest of my life with him. He is the bomb-diggity and I love the shit out of him.
I enjoy chaos, but I also revel in quiet. I go insane if I don’t get solitude every now and then.
I want to be an English professor. I also want to be a librarian.
I am bisexual. It complicates things.
I am a little bit like a dude in some respects. For example, I like to tuck my hand in my pants when I am relaxing. I also am extremely flatulent. I am a little bit obsessed with poop, and all topics related to the bathroom. I am considering adding a page onto this blog entitled "Lauren's Log," where I will rate and describe my bowel movements.
Pretty much, I am a very fortunate young person on the cusp of adulthood, watching forlornly as my childhood imagination disintegrates. At the same time, though, I am coming to life, am coming into my own, am standing with my toes curled over the edge of the diving board, waiting for the right moment to dive in. I think I am on the verge of something great.
A Mission Statement of Sorts
I like the idea of a blog because then I won’t waste any thoughts. Starting this blog has already allowed me to see life through a new lens. I can make connections; I can experience life with an eye toward the outsider’s prospective. I am totally diggin’ this.
I hope that this blog will reflect my observations of life as it is happening. I want to be able to pinpoint specific moments, moments that ordinarily pass by without much examination, and I want to blow them up, make them enormous. Because sometimes it’s so overwhelming to think about how tiny we all are, in the grand scheme of things. One of my favorite shows is “Into the Universe with Stephen Hawking,” which looks at all of the anomalies of the universe, exploring just how freaking vast the whole thing is, how mysterious and intricate. The show blows my mind because it reveals how small I really am, juxtaposed against this infinite universe, sprawled out all around me. It can be disheartening, knowing that my thoughts are truly inconsequential within this universe. It could be easy to shrug and decide that I just don’t matter, that this universe would not be altered in any significant way had I never been born at all.
I don’t want to lead a life focused around my own insignificance. I want to be relevant, even if I am not important. I want to be present, even if I am not presiding. I want to contribute in any way I can, suck as much out of this as I can, because really, we're all just passing through.
An Explanation Regarding the Name of this Website
I love driving alone. I love it because I can hear what I want at whatever volume I want, I can drive the way I want, I can get lost as much as I want, and no one is watching or digging their finger nails into the dashboard, bracing themselves for death every time I space out and try to turn the wrong way in a one way. More than anything, I freaking love listening to my music, love hitting shuffle on my iPod and seeing what gems I can uncover within its eclectic library. But iPods can be downright dangerous when driving is involved; choosing a song is just as demanding as texting, I bet. That’s why I really love red lights sometimes. It’s the perfect opportunity to pick a new song, without swerving over those oppressive yellow lines.
Red lights are the target for endless hostility, though. People all over the world raise their hands up to the relentless traffic light, wondering for the love of god when it will turn green. They slam their hands in indignation upon their steering wheels, letting loose strings of obscenities, all aimed at that stoic inconvenience, that cold-hearted interruption suspended from a cable overhead. I have fallen into that trap myself, have cursed as the yellow light slips tauntingly to red. But then, one day, my boyfriend introduced me to a different way of thinking. He told me of an idea he had. Red light optimism, he called it. Here’s his story.
b2dag01 12:47amWhat a goof ball. But the idea idea itself is rather clever. A situation which might usually be deemed annoying or intrusive becomes something fortuitous. To be red light optimistic, then, is to take advantage of life’s brief pauses. It is to embrace the opportunity to slow down, to come to a stop, to let the rest of the world have its turn crossing the intersection, while you indulge on some friggity fresh french fries. Doesn’t Ben have a beautiful mind? He inspires me all the time. And he’s hilarious.
i remember one night i was driving home in chapel hill
aaand
i got up to a red light, but i had just bought some BK
so i was hoping that it was a fresh red light so i could crack open some fries or something
so, i thought that this was a rare time
which was red light optimism.
This society spends so much time rushing. And with the surge of handheld technology, we have all of the answers to the burning questions of daily life right in our back pockets. Who sings that song “Who Let the Dogs Out?” Where is Istanbul? Is it normal to secrete fluid from ones nipples? What does antidisestablishmentarianism actually mean? What’s the best recipe for a soufflé? Do tyrannosaurus rexes breast feed their young? Why does corn sometimes make a second appearance in one’s bowel movements? Does Teflon cause anal leakage? Google knows the answers to all of these questions, and the answers are available instantaneously.
I think latent in society is this tendency toward instant gratification. We want the answers, and we want them now. How easy it can be to get swept up in the rush! It can be so easy to curse at a red light for making me step on the brake, for making me pause. But instead, I should learn to embrace the break. Or the brake. Or I should learn to embrake the brace. Whatever.
For me, to live out this red light optimism idea is to stop belly aching, to stop naval-gazing, to stop complaining about every little interruption. This is an enormous challenge, in everyday life and in a blog. I am going to take great care not to use this as a forum for my complaints and dirty laundry. I am also going to try my best to see the good side in all things, and in all people. It is a lofty goal, and I have failed far more than I have succeeded thus far, but by golly I am going to keep trying. Feel free to come along for the ride.
A Note on the Organization of This Here Blogaroon
This blog will basically be a collection of present-day narration, flashbacks, and excerpts from my journal, spanning from many years ago to the present. As a warning, some of this material may be offensive. As a disclaimer, I really like women, black people, homosexuals, and I don’t actually think that all people named Heather are fat. In fact, one of my roommates is named Heather, and she is a skinny minnie. She is also one of the nicest people I have ever met.
Being that as it may, it is also important for me to warn you that though all of these events are rooted in truth, there are many instances of extreme exaggeration or symbolic folly. These lapses in truth are designed not as an attempt to trick you, dear reader, like some lame-os may have attempted to do in the past. These lapses in truth are instead intended to draw your attention to things I deem important, or perhaps, just things I think are humorous. Laugh along with me, will ya?
